Come listen to a story about my backyard shed...
This started about six years ago when I had sliding glass patio doors installed and some french doors taken out. Instead of throwing the french doors away, I decide to install them on my backyard shed, which was in bad shape. I was using a tarp as a door, so these glass doors would class it up, right? My wife laughed as I am no carpenter but I pursued my dream and after a weekend's worth of work, I had installed the doors. One coat of paint later, my terrible carpentry was hidden (unless you got close) and I had a conversation piece.
Fast forward to last fall when my 13-year old son decided to use a baseball bat to remove black walnuts from the yard. You guessed it, he put one into the glass on the shed's french doors. These doors had survived numerous bangings, storms and my clumsiness. Fortunately he only broke one pane so the shed survived with it's classy doors until this weekend.
I was using my weed trimmer and accidentally shot a rock into the remaining pane on the door and that was that, all the safety glass pouring to the groud. By the way, I get the concept of safety glass, but cleaning up two million pieces is not that safe.
Finally, my wife got her wish, the doors would have to be covered and goodbye glass. This is where I lose my temper. I stopped at a local home center and found this great looking outdoor paneling. This would be the perfect fix. Unfortunately the sheet I bought wouldn't fit in my Jeep so back inside I went to return it and buy some smaller sheets of plywood. At the counter, the cashier couldn't find the bar codes nor did she know what kind of wood I was buying. (It was obviously plywood but why would someone who worked at a home improvement store know that?) After some discourse between she and I, the wood was purchased and I made the trip home only to find that it wasn't big enough to cover the doors. Think of a cartoon character with a steam whistle bursting out of his head, that was me.
At this point, you're thinking, "Hey dummy, why didn't you measure before you bought the wood?" Simple answer, I'm an idiot. Also, there is nothing more frustrating than having your spouse sitting on the patio watch you melt down knowing she would have measured first, had the wood cut at the store, and used the van to bring it home. Which she did, yesterday.
I did make one demand, that the boy paint the shed as payment for this frustration and as a lesson to never bat around black walnuts.
Arriving home Wednesday, there they were, the painted and measure boards ready to go up on the shed. She had purchased wood screws to anchor the boards and even had my drill charged. I guess she felt she had to leave me something to do but in all honesty, she and the boy could have put them up and it wouldn't have hurt my feelings.
As a final note, if I had completed the project, I would never have painted the board before putting them up and I would have used nails instead of wood screws, 'cause as I said before, I'm an idiot.
If you want to win at Trivial Pursuit, I'm your guy. Basic home carpentry, call my wife.